Follow Up
Yesterday I made a post on Instagram about Mental Illness. I explained that I have depression, and that there are days were it gets the better of me. This post is a follow up to that.
I want to make something clear, I am doing okay. Please don't see this as a cry for help. This is just me, doing my best to deal with my depression. It is also my attempt to help others who might be in the same place.
Here's a little background on me. My depression cropped up when I was about seventeen. Unfortunately I didn't get the help I needed, not because I was ashamed, or because people didn't believe me, or any of the terrible reasons others go undiagnosed. I didn't know what was happening to me was wrong, neither did my parents, and if other adults in my life did, they didn't bother telling me.
That's how I finished high school, suffering and not knowing it. Luckily, when I was nineteen I served a mission for my church and the symptoms all culminated in me contemplating suicide. Thankfully, missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) work in pairs. My companion never left me alone, so I never got the chance. He also suggested I speak with our mission President. This was a turning point, because President Taylor knew the signs of depression and he knew immediately what was going on.
After that it just took time, counseling and medication to get me back on the right track. Now one of the things that people forget is this; medications, counseling they aren't perfect fixes. Those of us with depression still need help. We still need people who are willing to be there for us.
I am forever grateful that my wife is understanding enough to make that sacrifice. There are times were I'm not able to do much beyond taking care of our boys. And on very rare occasions I can't even manage that. And I do mean can't. People like me don't function the same as everyone else. Our brain chemistry is different, so telling us to "just get over it", or "why can't you just be happy", or "I bet your just trying to get attention" makes things so much worse.
When dealing with people with mental illness patience is vital. We can't always control our emotional responses to even the most harmless of stimuli. Remember, the chemicals that tell our brains how to work aren't doing their jobs right. Trust me, it is even more frustrating for us, because we know that there's something wrong. We know that our responses aren't always rational, and we also know that we can't always do anything about it. Going hand in hand with that is the fact that we fully expect people around us to think the absolute worst of us. We very much believe that we are not worth loving.
It's not like we think everyone else is terrible. We just don't think we are worth the time. I remember thinking that if I wasn't around my wife/family/friends would be so much happier. Again, it has been a long time since I've had those kinds of destructive thoughts. I'm just taking the time to write, because it helps.
I just want anyone who might be reading this to know that if they are struggling with these issues, they aren't alone. There are people out there who do genuinely care about you, they want to help, but they might not know how. Cutting yourself off, abandoning those you love is never the answer. Get help, take care of yourself and don't listen to that little voice that tries to tell you that you aren't worth it. You are, trust me.
I want to make something clear, I am doing okay. Please don't see this as a cry for help. This is just me, doing my best to deal with my depression. It is also my attempt to help others who might be in the same place.
Here's a little background on me. My depression cropped up when I was about seventeen. Unfortunately I didn't get the help I needed, not because I was ashamed, or because people didn't believe me, or any of the terrible reasons others go undiagnosed. I didn't know what was happening to me was wrong, neither did my parents, and if other adults in my life did, they didn't bother telling me.
That's how I finished high school, suffering and not knowing it. Luckily, when I was nineteen I served a mission for my church and the symptoms all culminated in me contemplating suicide. Thankfully, missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) work in pairs. My companion never left me alone, so I never got the chance. He also suggested I speak with our mission President. This was a turning point, because President Taylor knew the signs of depression and he knew immediately what was going on.
After that it just took time, counseling and medication to get me back on the right track. Now one of the things that people forget is this; medications, counseling they aren't perfect fixes. Those of us with depression still need help. We still need people who are willing to be there for us.
I am forever grateful that my wife is understanding enough to make that sacrifice. There are times were I'm not able to do much beyond taking care of our boys. And on very rare occasions I can't even manage that. And I do mean can't. People like me don't function the same as everyone else. Our brain chemistry is different, so telling us to "just get over it", or "why can't you just be happy", or "I bet your just trying to get attention" makes things so much worse.
When dealing with people with mental illness patience is vital. We can't always control our emotional responses to even the most harmless of stimuli. Remember, the chemicals that tell our brains how to work aren't doing their jobs right. Trust me, it is even more frustrating for us, because we know that there's something wrong. We know that our responses aren't always rational, and we also know that we can't always do anything about it. Going hand in hand with that is the fact that we fully expect people around us to think the absolute worst of us. We very much believe that we are not worth loving.
It's not like we think everyone else is terrible. We just don't think we are worth the time. I remember thinking that if I wasn't around my wife/family/friends would be so much happier. Again, it has been a long time since I've had those kinds of destructive thoughts. I'm just taking the time to write, because it helps.
I just want anyone who might be reading this to know that if they are struggling with these issues, they aren't alone. There are people out there who do genuinely care about you, they want to help, but they might not know how. Cutting yourself off, abandoning those you love is never the answer. Get help, take care of yourself and don't listen to that little voice that tries to tell you that you aren't worth it. You are, trust me.
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